I feel like I'm at my biggest right now. Like I'm going to pop! It's not like I'm round because of beer, or junk food. But because I'm the life source of another life for 25 more days. It's a pretty incredible experience; having a child grow inside of you, one who lives with you for hopefully 40 weeks. Now there are some downsides to pregnancy, of course. I will get to those. Trust me.
During my bad days I look at my belly and think "can't she just come out of me already?" or it makes me think of the stuff I am going to miss out on. Her firsts. First tooth, first time sitting up, first time crawling, etc. But I can't dwell in that dark place. I have to think of the things I will get to witness. Which is a very hard thing to do. Because I feel like I'm not going to get to witness very much. Soon, very very soon; she will not be with me. She's with me now, but not for long.
A mammal's instinct once a baby is born from her is to nurture and love. I can only do that for 48 hours. Can you imagine giving something life for 9 months and just giving them away? It's the most selfless thing I can do. But I don't want anyone to feel bad for me. This is my decision... To give my baby a better, safer, healthier life.
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